is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
