More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
