Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
