Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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