sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
