that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
