So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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