I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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