I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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