This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
