Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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