i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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