I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
