I need help removing her.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
