you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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