ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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