a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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