He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
