dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
