hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
