i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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