So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
