Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
