I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
