i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
