im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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