Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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