white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
