Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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