He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
