omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
