You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
