idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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