I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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