is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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