I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sorry about my life...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
