I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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