I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
