i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
