YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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