so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
nutella sex= disaster
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
