the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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