How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
