but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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