So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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