If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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