I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
