their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she told me i tasted like america
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
