you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
