yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
