Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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