the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize