I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
